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 Coping With Your Difficult Older Parent : A Guide for Stressed-Out Children :: 038079750X
Description
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Do You Have
An Aging Parent Who --Blames you for everything that goes wrong?Cannot tolerate being alone, wants you all the time?Is obsessed with health problems, real, or imagined?Make unreasonable and/or irrational demands of you?Is hostile, negative and critical? Coping with these traits in parents is an endless high-stress battle for their children. Though there's no medical defination for "difficult" parents, you know when you have one. While it's rare for adults to change their ways late in life, you can stop the vicious merry-go-round of anger, blame, guilt and frustration. For the first time, here's a common-sense guide from professionals, with more than two decades in the field, on how to smooth communications with a challenging parent. Filled with practical tips for handling contentious behaviors and sample dialogues for some of the most troubling situations, this book addresses many hard issues, including: How to tell your parent he or she cannot live with you. How to avoid the cycle of nagging and recriminations How to prevent your parent's negativity from overwhelming you. How to deal with an impaired parent who refuses to stop driving. How to asses the risk factors in deciding whether a parent is still able to live alone. Editorial Descriptions are usually submitted by the manufacturers, publishers and authors. Contact us if you are one of them, and wish to change the above description. |
Reviews
Customer feedback
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Author: Guest
As our parents age relationships be put to a test by illness, behavior changes and our fear of loss. There is never a time in our lives when we so badly need insight into the aging process and the challenges it brings. This book is so helpful!
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Author: Guest
No one wants to be labled "difficult"...not the elder and not the caregiver. At times, they both can be. As a fellow author dealing with senior issues and caregiver conflict, I admire the balanced approach that Lebow and Kane take in this practical book. The emphasis on the ability to change MY behavior, not others'and the practical steps one can take to change are effectively handled. I highly recommend this book.
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Author: Guest
(...) Get the real truth about the fraud and abuse of the elderly and not so elderly. To avoid a guardianship in the State of Florida, and other states, should be of paramount importance. Find out how to protect yourself and your loved ones with alternatives: health care surrogate, durable power of attorney, mediation and more. Consider that if you leave your parents to fend for themselves, and ignore the deterioration associated with aging, a guardian can gain a guardianship over them and their assets, without informing you. That guardianship will nullify the most meticulous of plans. To really cover your aging parents, make sure they create a "Pre-need" guardianship and name someone they trust, this is the only way predators in the retirement homes will not be able to force guardianship on them. Also create an irrevocable trust.
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Author: Guest
After reading this wonderful book, I now find I can pick it up, open it to any page, and find something to make me calm down immediately. I appreciate how the authors are always respectful of the older parent's life and situation. It helps me keep things in perspective as well as deal with more mundane and immediate struggles. The bottom line is on page 118: "... no matter how miserable your parent's controlling and manipulative ways may make you feel, your parent feels worse than you do." I also appreciate chapter 9, "How to keep from being difficult yourself." I have recommended this book to many friends. It is valuable in understanding and dealing with all interpersonal relationships.
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Author: Guest
Using real-life examples, the authors address compassionately many of the real-time problems caregivers face. You might find your parent and help for your problem in their stories.
While I am not in favor of the labeling-people-approach that leads people to think of themselves as diagnosticians, I do find valuable insights in this book. Ignore the labels, but use their advice.
Phyllis Staff, Ph.D.
author, "How to Find Great Senior Housing"
and
"How to Prevent Alzheimer's and Other Dementias"
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