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How to Win Friends & Influence People (0671579592)
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| This grandfather of all people-skills books was first published in 1937. It was an overnight hit, eventually selling 15 million copies. How to Win Friends and Influence People is just as useful today as it was when it was first published, because Dale Carnegie had an understanding of human nature that will never be outdated. Financial success, Carnegie believed, is due 15 percent to professional knowledge and 85 percent to "the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse enthusiasm among people." He teaches these skills through underlying principles of dealing with people so that they feel important and appreciated. He also emphasizes fundamental techniques for handling people without making them feel manipulated. Carnegie says you can make someone want to do what you want them to by seeing the situation from the other person's point of view and "arousing in the other person an eager want." You learn how to make people like you, win people over to your way of thinking, and change people without causing offense or arousing resentment. For instance, "let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers," and "talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person." Carnegie illustrates his points with anecdotes of historical figures, leaders of the business world, and everyday folks. --Joan Price Editorial Descriptions are usually submitted by the manufacturers, publishers and authors. Contact us if you are one of them, and wish to change the above description. |
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Author: Guest
I won't waste your time with a rundown of what "How to Win Friends and Influence People" is about. With over 400 reviews on Amazon, with over 15 million copies sold, and with a very self-explanatory title, I think you all get it. For the rare person who may not know what this book is about, here's a succinct description: in 1930s vernacular prose, Dale Carnegie explains that by appealing to the other person's highest ideals, remembering the other person's name, letting the other person do most of the talking, speaking in terms of the other person's interests, allowing the other to save face, by "throwing down a challenge," etc., you can make a friend out of just about anyone.
The advice is largely sound, but I think the reader should keep in mind the context within which this book was written. "How to Win Friends and Influence People" was written in the 1930's and intended primarily as a companion book to Dale Carnegie's classes on how to be a good salesman. In other words, these techniques work very well in the context of sales and public relations, i.e., in relationships that are not expected to be deep and/or long-lasting. I wouldn't recommend using these techniques on close personal friends. Doing so may make a person come across as a bit "plastic."
Also, there is one major point that I think needs to be remembered, but unfortunately is nowhere to be found in "How to Win Friends and Influence People." During my research of Dale Carnegie's techniques, I came across what I believe may be the only biography available about him: "Dale Carnegie: The Man Who Influenced Millions" by Giles Kemp and Edward Claflin. This book reveals many interesting things, such as the fact that Dale Carnegie grew up poor; he lost part of his left index finger when he was a child; he often broke many of the tenets set forth in this book, often forgetting others' names, often arguing with others, etc. But what I found most interesting was that the last chapter of "How to Win Friends" was to describe those individuals with whom none of Dale Carnegie's techniques work. In this unpublished chapter, Carnegie wrote that there were some people with whom it was impossible to get along. You either needed to divorce such people, "knock them down," or sue them in court.
Why is that chapter absent from this book, you ask? Well, Dale Carnegie was in the middle of writing this chapter when he was offered a trip to Europe, and rather than complete this last chapter he decided to take the trip. The uncompleted book was sent off to publishers, and Carnegie shipped off to Europe.
Giles Kemp and Edward Claflin say that given the optimistic tone of the rest of "How to Win Friends," the European trip was perhaps the better choice. Reconciling the the unwritten chapter with the rest of this optimistic book would've been nearly impossible, they say.
Anyway, I think that this unpublished chapter is important to keep in mind. I had to learn the hard way that the unpublished chapter is very true. There are some people with whom it is impossible to get along. When you meet up with such people, and believe me you will, don't think that you've failed the Carnegie techniques. Instead, remind yourself that you are experiencing exactly what Carnegie describes in that pragmatic, unpublished chapter. And then quickly move on to the nicer people!
Andrew Michael Parodi
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Author: Guest
I heard from a friend that this book is a timeless way to look at people and offers good ideas for how to understand them and connect with them. This is entirely true and the book is an enjoyable read. The book covers:
~ Fundamental Techniques for Handling People
~ Six Ways to Make People Like You
~ Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking:
~ Nine Ways to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
~ Seven rules to making your homelife happier
I also purchased the Amazon recommended pairing, "THE EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE QUICKBOOK" and thought that was a great book as well. It has strategies for increasing your EQ and let me test mine online with a free test that came with the book!
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Author: Guest
Simply put, this is one of the most important books ever written. Parents, if you have a kid in college, do them a favor and send them this book right away. It will help them more in the art of human relations than any college course ever will. It is an invaluable read.
As a college professor, I highly recommend another book to my students entitled "How to Ace Your Way Through College and Still Have a Life." The advice is smart and practical, and I consider it to be one of the best college survival/success books to come along in several years.
Both books will help your college kids excel.
Dr. Henry Toof
Cambridge, MA
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Author: Guest
This wonderful, practical guide to developing personal relationships and effective communication skills should be in everybody's library. It ranks right up there with "Think and Grow Rich!: The Original Version, Restored and Revised" by Napoleon Hill, which is the best book on personal success ever written. Carnegie's and Hill's books have influenced more people, for the better, throughout the world, than any other works with the exception of the world's greatest religious texts. Dale Carnegie has a way with words and ideas that simply cannot be beat. This great book will never be obsolete.
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Author: Guest
I read this book when I was in college and it changed my life. If you want to learn how to get along with people, this book will steer you in the right direction. A must read.
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