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 Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too :: 0380799006
Description
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| With a title like this, it's no surprise that authors Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish had a monster bestseller on their hands when the book first appeared in 1988. From the subsequent deluge of readers' stories, questions, and issues, they have created nearly 50 pages of new material for this, the 10th anniversary edition. The central message remains the same, and sounds almost too simple: avoid comparisons. But parents know that's easier said than done. The value of Faber and Mazlish's discussions is precisely that they talk you through umpteen different situations and outcomes to help you teach your brawling offspring a new set of responses. The highly informative text is punctuated with helpful summary/reminder boxes and cartoons illustrating key points. It's a must-read for parents with (or planning on) multiple children. But parents of young children who get along fine (so far) should read it too--as the authors make very clear, rivalry is inevitable. The only question is how to manage the rivalry with intelligence and compassion, and on that subject they offer a wealth of good advice. --Richard Farr Editorial Descriptions are usually submitted by the manufacturers, publishers and authors. Contact us if you are one of them, and wish to change the above description. |
Reviews
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Author: Guest
This is a very useful book in dealing with sibling rivalry on a day by day basis.
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Author: Guest
This book is extraordinary. The writing pulls you in because of the humble nature of the author. After reading it, there is no doubt they know what they are talking about and it's not because of their credentials per say. It's spells out everything so clearly that there is no denying the issues. The big thing to know about this book is there are REAL specific tips and rules for communicating and dealing with situations. It is very well organized. And, there is more information than "How to talk to your kids..." I wondered if I should read both - sure enough, you do need both. I'm grateful for this book.
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Author: Guest
I bought this book a couple of months after we brought home our newly adopted son from Russia and the rivalry and fighting looked to become a huge problem... a never-ending battle between our only-slightly-older son and his new brother.
Over time both adjusted and now we have just run-of-the-mill rivalry and occasional jealousy, something that is manageable. But those first weeks and months were awful.
This book is nicely written and reasonably well organized. It's a quick read and provides a lot of useful ideas for how to defuse and ultimately avoid situations. Much of it is common sense or "frame shifting" (putting you into the child's situation through their eyes). I found some of the strategies useful and others not applicable, which is what you'd expect.
The downside of this book is that it is a bit on the frothy side, a bit simplistic and stagey. Some of the examples and true-life type stories go from one extreme to a too-good-to-be-true resolution "a week later". Some of the divisions in the book struck me as artificial.
Nonetheless this book is the standard for many parent dealing with this kind of problem for good reason. It is a useful reference, gets you to think about managing the situations better and gives you some tools to work with. Well recommended.
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Author: Guest
This book is truly amazing. I have never written an online review of anything in my life, but I simply had to stop and sit down and write my thoughts on this extraordinary book.
As an only child who now is the mom to two boys I was dumbfounded by their ever changing relationship. I worked on trying to get the older one to be "nicer" to the younger one, but it seemed the more I tried, the more it backfired, and I was really at my wits end. It was so difficult to watch. And then I read this wonderful book. It gave me so many tools to work with and it really helped me to understand their relationship. Instead of watching from a distance and being powerless it made me realize that I was the key to helping them understand each other. The results were immediate and I am happy to say at this point my boys, who are only 19 months apart, are best friends. They rarely fight and when they do I know just what to say to get them to stop and listen. Usually with this gentle help they can work things out on their own.
I can't say enough good things about this book. Anyone who has more than one child should read it...anyone who has siblings of their own should read it as well as it gives much insight into adult sibling relationships too.
This book has changed our lives!!!
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Author: Guest
This is a really good book. I especially like the point about not getting caught up in treating kids equally but rather individually. They do not want to hear that you love them as much as you love their siblings. They want to know that they are special. As a Mom of twins, it is especially easy for me to fall into that trap and worry constantly about fairness and equality rather than their individuality. e.g. "I love you as Suzie, and you're my only Suzie." instead of "I love you as much as your sister Janie."
I don't normally read this type of book and I don't often give 5*s but this one deserves it!
Small portions of the book were a little dry but all in all I found it hard to put down. The only small thing I disagreed with was the advice at one point to use a doll to act out anger. This, however, was a minor point and was not at all typical of this excellent book.
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